As we all know, men are simple creatures. When we are in love, our main goal, above all else, is pleasing the woman we love.
The problem comes when we don’t know how to do that.
Often things need to be clearly spelled out for us in a way we can understand.
At times, certain things need to be explained in very obvious terms.
We are eager to learn, and need you to teach us exactly what it is that pleases you. Once we have clarity on what pleases you and what doesn’t, we’ll go out of our way to comply.
As men, it’s part of our make up that we often need some training. Having said that, it’s important not to confuse training with changing.
Very often, when a woman feels the warning signs of her man pulling away, or when she feels he seems to have lost interest in her, it’s because he is feeling pressured into being someone that he is not.
Although, as I said, we are simple creatures, and we will go out of our way to please you as long as we know how, something shifts inside us as soon as we feel you are trying to change us.
When this happens, we will find any excuse to distance ourselves from you, and pull away from what we fear is a fate of being sucked into a quagmire of despair.
Men have the same core need to feel truly and deeply loved for being who they really are, as women do. They want to feel you love them for being exactly who they are right now, not for who you think they could be, or who you want them to be.
So, how do you demonstrate to a man that you genuinely love the real him, exactly as he is, with all of his flaws? Well, there are certain ways that will certainly give him the opposite impression.
What Is the Fastest Way To Push A Man Away?
The fastest and most effective way to push him away is nagging and criticizing. This is a clear sign that you don’t love the real him. Criticism and nagging give him the clear signal that you want him to change. It says you would love him more if he changed who he really is.
This can be fatal to a relationship, and can kill feelings of affection and love permanently. None of us want to feel that we have to prove something to our partner just to be loved by them.
Criticizing him about the fact that he leaves his clothes on the floor, or about his habits (especially those you already knew about when you met him), or judging his choice of friends, will make you a completely different person to the one he fell in love with.
You begin to look a lot like his mother, instead of the hot, carefree girl he lost his heart to, and would do anything for.
Wow! What a turn-off!
This does not mean you have to simply put up with anything he does; it just means that nagging and criticizing do not work.
There are much more effective ways of improving your experience within your relationship, while still preserving the love, affection and fun.
Criticizing and nagging tells him he isn’t good enough for you just as he is.
His authentic self is not good enough, and he is disappointing to you. You can see how damaging this can be – to both his self esteem, and your relationship.
How To Avoid Pushing Him Away
You’ve probably heard the phrase “You catch more flies with honey”. Well, Honey, that is the truth for men too!
The most effective way of reaching a man is using a combination of positive language and behavior, and blunt honesty. As strange as that may sound, it is infinitely more effective than nagging and criticizing.
This is just the way most of us men are.
So, here’s the secret: Lose the nagging and criticism, and replace it with the KISS formula! A warning: This method is extremely powerful, and there is a danger that it can cause more damage than criticism and nagging if abused.
So, what is this mysterious magical KISS formula? And in what way will it help to save my relationship with my man?
Use This Simple Technique To Keep Your Man:
First, use refreshingly blunt honesty and tell him what you like and don’t like. Then use positive language and behavior to tell him how it makes you feel.
Sounds too good to be true, right?
Well, here’s an example of how this works: Instead of shouting “Why can’t you just take out the garbage without me having to ask you every time?!” you’ll say “Honey, I love it so much when you take the garbage out without me having to ask. It makes me feel like you really appreciate me.”
Offering a kiss as a further incentive to continue appreciating is also very effective.
The way a guy’s brain is wired means that positive reinforcement is absorbed and processed much more effectively and efficiently than negative tones, language and behavior – which makes him run in the opposite direction. And that’s when you feel like he’s pulling away from you.
And in fact, that is what he is probably doing, but if you’re willing to adjust your behavior, you’ll see a significant change in his.
So, what do you think?
In your relationships, have you noticed that you “catch more flies with honey”? Do you feel that your guy is pulling away from you right now? And do you think there’s a possibility of it being due to nagging or similar tendencies? Could he be pulling away from you for other reasons?
Or, have you managed to make those changes? Although it may seem unfair, you can’t force someone else to change, the way to see changes in someone else, is to make changes in yourself. This is the way you can control your experience with others.
Rather than feeling this is unfair, focus on how empowering it is!
You have the power to change your relationship by making changes inside yourself, and then enjoying the results!
To help him not pull away to may want to consider these dating tips for women.